Juno

Okay, what am I some sort of sadist. So, I totally avoided watching Juno for the past couple of years. I knew it would be an emotional ride I just didn't want to take. So today I was skimming through the TV guide channel and there it was JUNO. I said, don't watch it, its going to hurt you, I agreed with myself and moved on. Low and behold at 2:00 I whipped out the remote and turned it on. I am glad it was quirky as well as sad otherwise I would have fallen apart. I thought Jennifer's character was molded after me. The love, fear, want, need, etc. she displayed was everything I was feeling and still feel. I am glad I finally watched it.

Operation

Today was supposed to be the day of another procedure but the doctors office dragged their feet so as you can see it didn't happen. I will be going in on the 25th. I cant wait. Who would have thought I would look forward to being operated on but I would do anything to progress my healing. I just pray that this is the final one. I have definitely taken a turn for the worse, having pains, leakage amount, heart burn, and just not sleeping. I just keep telling myself it could be much worse. I just have to keep the faith...
I have also been hurting lately wishing for that little girl I was certain I was meant to have. I still ache for her all the time. Its not as bad as it was last year but it still haunts me. Lift me up please.

Snow

I had a really nice weekend. Friday we celebrated our cousin Requelle's birthday. It was so much fun, sweet, and sentimental. Happy Birthday Requelle you are a beautiful gem.

Saturday we went shopping and that was nice I bought a pair of jeans that were 7 sizes smaller... woo hoo. It was a rough way to lose weight but in the end it will probably be worth it. Tim went back over to Uncle Bill and Aunt Eds to play Texas holdem. I wasn't feeling that great so I spent a relaxing night here doing my nails and just chilling.

Today was my first day to sing at church... I am so happy I did it and didn't pee my pants or pass out. I have wanted to do it for a long time but was always too scared. After I got so sick I promised myself I would start doing things that I have wanted to do even if they were out of my comfort zone. I am proud of myself and look forward to joining the Praise Team. Let me say if there is something you have always wanted to do, as Nike says, Just do it... Life is short and we are not promised tomorrow...
Now I am watching the beautiful snow come down, I love watching it in the lights at night. How pretty...

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day friends and loved ones... I am a sucker for love so I have always loved this day and for the most part either I have had a Valentine or Happily not had a Valentine so it has never been one of those days that I avoided... I have friends without a significant other who hate today. My thought is you have kids/dogs/cats/friends who love you, count your blessings. I try to look at what I do have rather then what I don't... Otherwise, I think I would go nuts.

I am not healed and have to go in next month for another procedure. This time they will be putting me completely under for some reason. I thought I was pretty much out last time so this should be interesting. I am a little sad about it. I really was hoping we were at the end of the road. I will just try to keep focused on healing and pray that next month is the time it gets healed.

My former sister-in-law and forever friend, is doing the 3 day 60 mile walk and I just thought I would post her page. If you felt lead to help support her I know she would appreciate it as would I. As a woman I cant thank her enough for dedicating herself to such a majorly strenuous task. Every penny counts, even if you can only donate $5 that's five more going into cancer research...



http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/Walk/WashingtonDCEvent?px=2458129&pg=personal&fr_id=1303&et=j3SmhlFfb1QFd2qOTok1lA..&s_tafId=85087

Endoscope

Well, the Endoscope was a breeze... I was talking then next thing you know I was waking up, it was over... My throat hurt but other than that nothing. I came home and had the best sleep of my life...While he was there he glued my fistula shut. Hoping that it stays shut otherwise we will do the same procedure again (not that big of a deal). Great news, no surgery is needed... wooooo hoooo....

I have a funny story about how insane I am. This week at church there was a need that went out. A young woman had gone to the hospital she is early in her pregnancy and was having problems with her head. She had previously had a brain tumor. Anyway, she has a 2 year old and if she was admitted they needed someone to take care of her. I volunteered. Here is the insane part. From there my mind went to oh if something serious happens to the mom we could adopt her. In my mind I had her room redone, us shopping, baking cookies, going to prom and sending her off to college. I know, I know, not healthy... The good news is mom is doing just fine and was not admitted to the hospital.

We are going to Hippodrome theater tonight to see Grease. I am so excited...

Tomorrow

Well, I am going for my Endoscope tomorrow. Its funny because I was cool as a cucumber but now all of a sudden I am nervous. I told Tim that last night and he said are you kidding me, you are the toughest person I know. You were in the hospital for over two months, almost died, endured more medical treatments than most people go through in a lifetime. Yes Dear, but I haven't had to do anything in over a month... I know in my heart its going to be no big deal but I am human and really hope there is no pain or gagging involved...

I am also praying that is no accumulative snow. It is snowing now but very lightly. There is light coverage on the ground but the roads look good. Today is one of those gray days where you just want to stay in bed all day or sit by a fire... I think I will go take a shower and then start a fire and read a bit and then maybe watch a movie... Sounds like a great plan.