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Sunday, July 6, 2008

One Year Ago

Today’s entry is dedicated to my mother who passed away one year ago today…

Dear Mom,
I can’t believe a year has passed already. There have been so many events in this past year and I have thought of you in all of it. I probably talk to you every day. I hope you can hear me or at that God gives you the messages… I wish so badly that we could go back in time just to spend one year, month, week, or even just one day together. We spent so much of our time disconnected from one another. Both of us loving the other but never quite expressing it well. Since your death I have come to many realizations. I now realize that you did truly love me. I didn't give you enough credit while you were alive but now I see all the ways you tried showing it. I changed my answering machine not long ago and thought of you, knowing you used to call and leave a message saying, “I just called to hear your sweet little voice.” I have read all my letters and cards that I sent you that you kept through the years. How many times did you tell me I was the Joy or your life? How amazing is that, what an awesome compliment it is to be the Joy of someone’s life. Even more, I know you meant it. I know you were ill and therefore unable to be the mother I needed or wanted and I am sorry I didn't realize it while you were here with me. I realize you did the best you knew how.
I am so thankful that you are truly in Gods hands now. I Miss You and Love you Very Much,
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1 comment:

Gretchen said...

What a sweet letter. I'm sure your Mom is watching you everyday. :)

July 10, 2008 at 9:43 AM

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