Retreat

Oh My Gosh, the retreat was just the thing I needed... I cant tell you how amazing, inspiring, uplifting last weekend was. It is so true when they say you are where you are supposed to be. I fought with myself about going to the retreat. I kept telling myself I didn't need it, I wouldn't know many people, I would be an outsider. I couldn't have been more wrong, in the end I felt like I was brought there under the premise of a woman's retreat only to find it was a weekend all about lifting me up. I am telling you I felt the presence of God the second I walked in the doors. All trepidation left me instantly.
Friday night after the "festivities" we played games and just had time together, that was nice. After that we all went to bed. I am not a good sleeper, I have said it in the past I don't like lights, noise and such so I tossed and turned almost all night. Then we had an amazing heartfelt day on Saturday. I laughed and cried the hardest I ever have this weekend. I hope I am not breaking any trusts because what happens at the retreat stays at the retreat. but at the end we have a circle and just talk about what blessed us. One of the girls was speaking and then she said, ( I will paraphrase) there is someone here that blessed me, I didn't even speak with her at length but Stephany (that's right little ole me) just being near you is like being near happiness, there is something about you that draws people to you... others around just shook their heads in agreement. Are you kidding me, oh my gosh, my heart was so touched I thought it would burst. Then it was my turn to talk, now let me tell you, I am not shy one on one or with the family. However, part of the point of this blog was to say things I couldn't say out loud... Well, put me in a group and I want to pass out. I opened my mouth and tears came, I struggled my way with a few words and had to take a few breaks. I got out most of what I had to say but I could have gone on and on about how blessed I was. I thank God for bringing me there for all the ladies who poured out their hearts, for the hugs, the laughter, the candy, for their love of me, and mostly the love God has for me, and me back in Him...
Here I have spent the past year feeling so alone, like nobody cared, yes, trusting and loving God but not with the passion I feel today. I like to say often that I am blessed but I only realized how much this weekend.
Although, Saturday evening Aunt Edd brought me to the church I had a headache from lack of sleep and crying. Tim picked me up there and almost instantly I felt sick. The second we put the car in park I was in the house throwing up, where it commenced for a while. I was up most of the night. I am now at a point where I am feeling normal. Could have done without that... tee hee hee