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Saturday, March 15, 2008

Sorry in advance

You know its funny, I consider myself to be an upbeat, giving, positive, God loving/fearing person. I have the love of a wonderful husband, great dogs, (even Bruiser) wonderful home. Life is beautiful... Lately, I just feel sad and alone. I almost feel abandoned. Now I'm sure there are some major factors in this feeling. One being the fact that my mother died unexpectedly less then a year ago. Two having this roller coaster of emotions over this adoption. Third having allot of family problems. I want to run away. I just want some peace back in my life. I think that is a major part of wanting to pull out of the adoption. If we pull out, then its over, I don't have to think about it everyday. I'm sorry for being a downer, just really felt the need to express myself. Although it doesnt sound like it, I totally trust in God and know that He will get me through this. I will continue to praise Him in this storm. I know when we come out of this I will have a great testimony.


I am thinking about making this blog private. Not sure yet but let me know if you would like an invite just in case...

3 comments:

Matthew Ruley said...

I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are not alone, although I don't doubt that it feels that way considering everythign you are going through. I wish that there was somethign I could say or do to help you. Know that people are thinking about you and sending good vibes and hugs your way. If you do go private please invite me :)

Gretchen said...

Suzanne said it wonderfully. I'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. Adoption is up and down not to mention the other things you are dealing with now. I am thinking of you. :)

Please invite me too if you go private.

Stacy said...

Sorry you are feeling so down! I hope your days get better. I am definitely thinking about you. If you go private I want an invite.