Updates

Sorry I haven't been writing as of late I have had my hands full. I really had a good birthday week. It was very healing and contemplative. Steven (stepson) came and took most of the nursery furniture. I sat in the chair or laying on the floor for hours every night just thinking of what was to have been. It is so odd to look in that room and not see everything in order. Like I said, there was just allot of healing time.

So, as far as the house goes. Last weekend after allot of thought and need to move forward we decided to take the house off of the market. So last week I started to redo the nursery and make it my craft room. My very own girly French Country room. So I went on a hunt to all the local antique stores and thrift store and found a great table that I refinished, I got an chair and a side table and I had this sweet cart that needed to be beaten up and painted as well so I was working on that. Have been ordering stuff like crazy.... .... So, here I am steadily working when all of a sudden we get a call Saturday morning from a realtor saying that his client ( the original couple that came to see the house the first week it was on the market) noticed that we had removed our home from the listing and had a slight interest and wanted to know where we were at. We called him back and said only if his clients were interested in making an offer would we even consider moving forward. They came tonight and looked again. We have told them we would like and offer by Friday otherwise it is a closed door. So we shall see... Honestly we are good either way.

We had something else happen. Our sons girlfriend just told us that her cousin was pregnant and wanted to give the baby up for adoption. That she had told her about us. She didn't have anymore information but would get back to us. Tim and I said great let her know we are interested. I found out today that she aborted the baby. As you can guess I am heartbroken. I wish nothing had been said to begin with.... It seems like once I get off of one roller coaster another one soon arrives. I am glad this last one was a very short one. Oh the twists and turns lately are just a little too crazy for me...

Humble

I have to tell you, yesterday we were driving down the road and were stopped at a red light. Tim asked do you think those guys are homeless? I looked over to see two gentlemen getting ready to eat dinner on a bench at the side of the road. One of them was, lets just say handicapped. He put his hands together and closed his eyes and started praying. Let me tell you he was praying so intensely, his head was moving, eyes sealed shut and saying everything robustly. Tim had to tell me to stop starring because I was so mesmerized and humbled. He had the faith of a child and it was one of the most beautiful things I have seen in a long time. I got on my knees last night and prayed just like him for my faith to be as pure as his. I also prayed for him. I don't think they were homeless but they definitely weren't as financially blessed as others. I hope he never leaves my mind... What a blessing...

Speaking of Blessings, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! TeeHeeHee

Birthday Week

So this week is Birthday week for me... Woo Hoo...

I am a big believer in the celebration of life. I think everyone should have a Birthday week instead of just one day... I don't mean you have to get gifts everyday although just so you know, I wouldn't fight it. I mean just a week where you are celebrated. Also, a week where I celebrate the life I was given and all that I am and have achieved... I declare a Happy Birthday Week to Me!!!

My husband is napping in the sun room, I told him this wasn't proper Birthday Monday etiquette but his response was to give me the look and soon after started to snore... Its okay because there is always Birthday Tuesday...

One Year Ago

Today’s entry is dedicated to my mother who passed away one year ago today…

Dear Mom,
I can’t believe a year has passed already. There have been so many events in this past year and I have thought of you in all of it. I probably talk to you every day. I hope you can hear me or at that God gives you the messages… I wish so badly that we could go back in time just to spend one year, month, week, or even just one day together. We spent so much of our time disconnected from one another. Both of us loving the other but never quite expressing it well. Since your death I have come to many realizations. I now realize that you did truly love me. I didn't give you enough credit while you were alive but now I see all the ways you tried showing it. I changed my answering machine not long ago and thought of you, knowing you used to call and leave a message saying, “I just called to hear your sweet little voice.” I have read all my letters and cards that I sent you that you kept through the years. How many times did you tell me I was the Joy or your life? How amazing is that, what an awesome compliment it is to be the Joy of someone’s life. Even more, I know you meant it. I know you were ill and therefore unable to be the mother I needed or wanted and I am sorry I didn't realize it while you were here with me. I realize you did the best you knew how.
I am so thankful that you are truly in Gods hands now. I Miss You and Love you Very Much,

Get Out of My House

Okay so I know its a necessary evil to allow people into your home if you want to sell it but I hate the invasive feeling you get. Saturday we were excited, about to walk out the door to a friends house and got the call that someone wanted to see the house. We had one hour to get everything in order. Got the dogs and off we went. Usually a showing is about 20 minutes. These people were here for over an hour. So after an hour of just driving around with three rambunctious dogs. We come home and realize they used our phone... I don't know why but this really bothered us. After that we decided that I would stay home from now on when we have a showing. We had a showing tonight and I totally got the feeling that these people were bored and just out looking for something to do. Seriously, I couldn't read them at all...

We are feeling good about moving. Whatever happens, happens... If we sell it is meant to sell. If we don't, we have an amazing home.