Kazakhstan

Just a little tid bit of information... The show The Amazing Race is going to have a pit stop in Kazakhstan. Just thought my friends who have been there might find it interesting and want to watch.

Retreat

Oh My Gosh, the retreat was just the thing I needed... I cant tell you how amazing, inspiring, uplifting last weekend was. It is so true when they say you are where you are supposed to be. I fought with myself about going to the retreat. I kept telling myself I didn't need it, I wouldn't know many people, I would be an outsider. I couldn't have been more wrong, in the end I felt like I was brought there under the premise of a woman's retreat only to find it was a weekend all about lifting me up. I am telling you I felt the presence of God the second I walked in the doors. All trepidation left me instantly.
Friday night after the "festivities" we played games and just had time together, that was nice. After that we all went to bed. I am not a good sleeper, I have said it in the past I don't like lights, noise and such so I tossed and turned almost all night. Then we had an amazing heartfelt day on Saturday. I laughed and cried the hardest I ever have this weekend. I hope I am not breaking any trusts because what happens at the retreat stays at the retreat. but at the end we have a circle and just talk about what blessed us. One of the girls was speaking and then she said, ( I will paraphrase) there is someone here that blessed me, I didn't even speak with her at length but Stephany (that's right little ole me) just being near you is like being near happiness, there is something about you that draws people to you... others around just shook their heads in agreement. Are you kidding me, oh my gosh, my heart was so touched I thought it would burst. Then it was my turn to talk, now let me tell you, I am not shy one on one or with the family. However, part of the point of this blog was to say things I couldn't say out loud... Well, put me in a group and I want to pass out. I opened my mouth and tears came, I struggled my way with a few words and had to take a few breaks. I got out most of what I had to say but I could have gone on and on about how blessed I was. I thank God for bringing me there for all the ladies who poured out their hearts, for the hugs, the laughter, the candy, for their love of me, and mostly the love God has for me, and me back in Him...
Here I have spent the past year feeling so alone, like nobody cared, yes, trusting and loving God but not with the passion I feel today. I like to say often that I am blessed but I only realized how much this weekend.
Although, Saturday evening Aunt Edd brought me to the church I had a headache from lack of sleep and crying. Tim picked me up there and almost instantly I felt sick. The second we put the car in park I was in the house throwing up, where it commenced for a while. I was up most of the night. I am now at a point where I am feeling normal. Could have done without that... tee hee hee

Womens Retreat

This weekend I am going to a women's retreat with our church. I should say its not our church its a church we used to attend. We still love the church and everyone in it. Especially our family there. We have been praying as to where we should be. I feel we are being called to make a change one way or another. Not that I think church is the only answer. I do feel like I have a great relationship with God. I love, trust, and try to honor Him in all ways. I do feel that I am a good Christian. I think a good way to describe me is a liberal conservative if that makes sense. I try to love everyone and let everyone be who they are. Who am I to judge anyone else, I have to enough flaws of my own to not worry about someone elses. Anyway I was feeling a little odd about going. Now I'm stoked and ready to go... it will be a great weekend...

What is going on???

Did you ever feel like things just weren't going your way? I am starting to feel that way. Let me just tell you, these are the things that have broken this month, the grill, the refrigerator, the power washer, the lawn mower, my computer, and I am sure there is something that I am missing. Are you kidding me... ... what happened to theory that things happen in three's...

Now, more importantly, here are the ways my life is going my way Tim fixed my laptop for me. Although, I lost some information, he saved all my pictures. We found out our lawn mower repair service people are rip off artists on the first call. Hence, we know who not to call again, the part for the refrigerator came in the very next day. I just had a great day with Jordan, I have a great home, beautiful precious dogs, a husband who loves me and I am a child of God... So, things are looking up :)

7 Years

Is it possible that seven years have passed already... My heart still aches for all the victims of the September 11th disaster. Every time I see the clock at 9:11 and it happens allot, I always say a prayer for those who lost someone or who have been touched personally. Its just my way of feeling like I am keeping the memory alive. I wonder all the time about them and pray that they are doing well and have are healed or are well on the road to healing. God Bless You All.

On a better note, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!!! I love you and thank God for you...

Concert

So last night we went to the most amazing concert. We saw Celine Dion and I cant tell you how much I enjoyed it. I strongly recommend this concert to the world. I may even try talking Tim into traveling to see it again... Every song in perfect key, beautiful costume changes, my old favorites, new favorites, she even did a duet The Prayer with Andrea Boccelli it was so beautiful that I think I even saw a tear in Tim's eye. I knew the song as A Mothers Prayer and I used to sing it constantly through the adoption to a little girl we never even knew. When I say sing I mean cried through. Here are the words. I think all mothers and mothers to be will find something special in it.


I pray you'll be my eyes
And watch her where she goes
And help her to be wise
Help me to let go Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe

I pray she finds your light
And holds it in her heart
As darkness falls each night
Remind her where you are

Every mother's prayer
Every child knows
Need to find a place
Guide her to a place
Give her faith so she'll be safe

Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe

First Football Sunday

Okay so I already told you we were huge football fans. We are Tampa Bay Buccaneer fans. Every Sunday we get dressed in our red and black buccaneers apparel with excitement and vigor...If you saw the game today you would probably ask why? I am not a fair weather fan I have no problem losing if we played our hardest but that didn't happen today. We beat ourselves, looked sloppy, not to mention there were a few major miscalled plays against us... UUUUGGGGHHHH Oh well it is only week one there are lots more to make up for today... Go Bucs...

Friday Part 2

I forgot to mention the Redskins game... Sorry Mom, Dad, Mike, Ray, and all the skins fans for your loss. We didn't get to see the game as our electricity went out at 6:45 and didn't come back on until after 1:00 AM. We are huge football fans and we were so sad, not to mention hot and bored when the electricity went out. Anyway, don't worry after all New York did just win the Super Bowl... so there is no shame in your game...

The Big Reveal

So, I am really excited to reveal my new room. I apologize in advance for all the pictures. One there may be some repeats I tried deleting them and just couldn't and two I didn't want to leave any thing out...

If you recall the beautiful sweet precious Baby Layla Nursery before pictureTo the grown up sophisticated Stephany room. I really liked the green so I kept it and darkened the molding to an antique white instead of bright white. I wallpapered the top in a french country pattern. Replaced the ceiling fan/light.
I kept the chair from the nursery It is so comfortable, I just need to get an ottoman so that I can sit and read in here. I also kept the lamp but I painted the flowers brighter shades of pink. My mom always called me her Joy so I saw this and had to put this in here.I bought this table at the thrift store it was a plain oak table. You cant see well it but I painted it antique white, crackled it, beat it up, made a skirt out of this gorgeous fabric I got on eBay. I am in love with it... You can click on picture to see closer look of table.

Some of my buttons and such...

This is the reason I had to have the carpet replaced. Well I am the real reason but this is what I was painting. Why I didn't paint it in the garage is still a mystery to me, not to mention Tim


I love this mini chandelier (another eBay find from Murfreesboro ironically)... You cant see all the details but it is gorgeous...
Just thought I would share a frame Tim bought me... I love my babies...
This was such a cathartic process to go through, I had mixed emotions throughout each day and still continue to. It was so hard to paper over the pink, yet as I saw each black flower come to life I would get excited to see the new possibilities. I kept the closet pink until yesterday. I hadn't planed on it after all I love pink. but every time I opened the door I saw Layla and the past not the here and now. I am just trying every day to concentrate on what I do have in my life. I am blessed even without a child of my own... I say that only half meaning it... Oh what is wrong with me...

Anyway, here is my new craft/office/me room... This is where I will be every time I write to you or post my blogs. I hope you like it.

Nice Weekend

We had a nice Labor Day weekend. My parents came up and we just spent the time hanging out in or by the pool. Eating and chilling... I just got the call saying they were almost home. Thanks for coming we really hope you enjoyed your weekend. My step-mom works for the USPS so she only has so many days off so I really appreciate that they took the time to come here. I don't consider her a step mom, she is just my mom. I didn't want to confuse any of you after the recent post dedicated to my other mom who passed away last year. No, she did not come back to life...

Anyway, my room is finished. Well, I should say almost finished I still have to paint the wall and baseboard where I spilled the paint. We had the carpeting replaced last Friday, its nice but what we had was practically brand new. I will post pictures soon...
Its funny, I am still territorial about the room. I keep the door shut, I don't know if it is from myself or others. Tim came in the other night for the big reveal... I tend to be a little dramatic tee hee hee... Anyway, he said wow, it is so weird, there isn't a trace of her in here. I know, I said, the only thing left is her name sign in the closet. I don't know what to do with it... If you know of anyone who wants to name their precious angel Layla Grace you just let me know...